Relationship SWOT | What R Men LOOKING 4?
Monday, February 22, 2010 at 7:35AM I am so not understanding why myself and some of my friends are single. We are some damn good women. Accomplished, Talented, Good Looking, Spiritually Inclined, Financially Stable, Educated and Successful....YET..........we are single. WHY is that?
Is it a unspoken inferior/superior complex that we have with men? Or is it vice versa?
Is that men see us as good women, but they aren't mentally together to deal with a woman of such caliber?
These answers escape me. I'm just baffled by this ongoing and largely growing group of women who have it together, but aren't in committed relationships.
WHAT ARE MEN LOOKING FOR?
Why can't it be as simple as...hey I like you...you like me...let's see what we can make of this?
UGH!
All this other stuff is emotionally crippling....mental gymnastics - all for what?
I can only speak for myself when I say that I never go around saying I don't want or need a man. It's not that. I do want and need a man in my life because I am a heterosexual woman and I am built to want to love and please my male companion. It is my human nature. So just because I am independent doesn't mean I can't be dependent upon a man. It's just that in this moment and space in my life, I have NO CHOICE but to be independent because I have my children depending on me for survival. However, if the right man came a long he'd be incorporated into our world, just like we would be incorporated into his...and together we'd be a force...he'd know that our relationship is built not only on love, trust, mutual respect and admiration...but on a basic business term...that is SWOT.
SWOT - Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.
Now, one may ask themselves how can this be applied to a relationship....
Each person has a strength. Each person has a weakness.
My/his strength is supposed to overcome my/his weakness.
Together we make opportunities to better ourselves as individuals, as a couple, and as parents.
Together we take our strengths to ward off any potential threats that may come our way.
Strengths compensate for weaknesses, turning threats into opportunities....for the betterment of our family unit. Wow!!!
What's so hard about that fellas?
What I see is that if a man were to snag myself or one of my lovely sister-friends, that battle of dealing with life is 50% won. We bring so much to the table that the struggle is partly over. Now that's from a survival of life perspective...
I know the mental and emotional piece is something different. Men and women are clued into relationships differently...this I totally understand. But I feel like if we just meet each other half way. Women allow the men to have space to feel what he's going to feel and in due time he will reveal. Patience. Men allow the women to the ability to share their emotions freely without feeling that because she has shared this with you - you are now feeling some pressure...doesn't make it always so. Perception.
Patience and Perception...my two number one goals - patience mastered...perception ongoing.
Be Free....
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Love,
SWOT,
Self Love,
patience,
relationships
Reader Comments (1)
Wow! Your insight on a Relationship SWOT could not have come at a better time. I've been single most of my life, but left my last monogamous relationship of 7-years about 7-years ago. Can anybody say, "itchy?" Recently I fell into a relationship with who I believe is my ultimate "soul mate" and we are thrilled. The unfortunate part of it all is that he got a wonderful promotion at work but was shipped out of town - only about 325 miles, so not too bad. Because our relationship is still in its infancy, we aren't sure which direction to go? I know of many successful long distance relationships, but the one I mentioned early became a long distance relationship that found its happy tale ending when he moved a new girl into his house to "forget about me." So juvenile and typical! But my new guy? Even though he's pretty darn amazing, it's still scary for me because I keep getting those creepy feelings from the last creepy ending. Today I decided to build a SWOT on our relationship. Alas! Google found me your post, Michelle. Your words have enlightened me and inspired me. Tonight when I have a talk with my "new soul mate," I'm going to share some of your words with him. Hopefully I'll be visiting him next week - wink wink. Thank you so much for such a beautiful day!